‘Mum, this is so hard’.

Hi all. This evening I was going to update you all with our triathlon news and our Sport Relief Mile event but, having just got in at 23.15 from a visit to my daughter and the twins I kind of feel that I should just share with you a little of what has happened in their lives today….the day that the twins celebrate 8 weeks on this planet.

Phoebe’s feeding tube has come out twice in the last 24 hours. Both times have happened during the day when a community nurse should come out from the local surgery. There should only be a visit to hospital to have the tube put back in after 6pm when the surgery closes. No nurse in the community was available yesterday so plans had to be made for Phoebe to got to hospital again to have her tube replaced. As neither Daddy or Mummy drive, plans had to be made for someone to take Phoebe to hospital while someone stayed at home with Sam. Today a nurse did come out and replace the tube again but she has not made a very good job of sticking the tube to Phoebe’s face so we will see how that goes.

Phoebe has been making little, if any, progress with her feeding. She still struggles to take 40mls in half an hour and the rest of the 90 mls is tubed. She is not taking any more feed than she was 6 weeks ago and she has started to become listless from time to time and has also started being sick. Not just a little bit of baby sick but a lot. This has been worrying Mummy and Daddy for some time. This morning, when she was sick, her tube came out. Apparently this is quite common.

Today the twins had their first lot of injections. Mummy and Daddy took them. I know that Mummy was dreading it. While they were at the surgery, Mummy decided to have the twins weighed as she was concerned about Phoebe. Sam has put on almost 2lbs and Phoebe has put on an ounce in two weeks. Cue one very upset and concerned Mummy who has been spending the best part of every single day for 8 weeks trying to get Phoebe to feed and not be sick. The upshot is that a health visitor is coming out to tomorrow anyway as is the cleft nurse and Phoebe also has a paediatric appointment on Thursday so hopefully something will be decided about how to progress with the feeds.

On top of all of that, Phoebe needed her hearing aid moulds taken again today at home which got forgotten about but Mummy got the babies back as soon as she could after receiving a phone call to say that the team were already at the house.

When I got to their home, Sam was asleep and Phoebe was being fed…40mls from the bottle this time…and both babies had been given Calpol as advised following their jabs. Sam took his like a dream. Phoebe struggled to take hers…. a lot came down her nose due to her cleft. However, after this feed she wasn’t sick at all and once she settled down she was wide awake and an absolute joy.

   
  She was responsive, moving her hands about and making eye contact. I’m sure she almost smiled. We haven’t had a proper smile yet.

 
I had a lovely time chatting to her and talking nonsense as only a Nanny can and I loved it. It was reassuring to see her so responsive. Mummy busied herself like only Mummy can and then it was time for another feed. Mummy decided not to try the bottle this time and gave more Calpol before testing the feeding tube which needs to be done before every feed.  About 10 minutes into the feed, out of nowhere, Phoebe was very sick. A baby with a cleft palate being sick is not a pretty sight. Sick  comes out of the nose  as well as the mouth and is very overwhelming for the baby.

Poor Mummy was distraught. Not only is Phoebe not gaining weight, she is now being very sick several times a day. Something is amiss. Mummy calmed  an exhausted Phoebe down, changed her sick covered clothes and cuddled her little girl to sleep. She cuddled Phoebe to sleep with tears streaming down down her face. ‘Mum, this has been the hardest 8 weeks of my life. I’m useless. I can’t even feed my own baby’ was all she managed to say before breaking her heart.

My heart broke too just seeing my own baby so worn out and doubting herself despite being fantastic and being a totally amazing Mummy under very difficult circumstances. I cuddled her, hugged her, let her sob and did my best to reassure her. Yes, it’s going to be an up and down future for Phoebe but she will get the there I’m sure.

The aim of this post is really to give a glimpse into Phoebe and Sam’s world.. and the world of my daughter and her husband. I am so very, very proud of my girl. I just wish she could see how amazing she is.

I should be asleep!

Phoebe and Sam, Nanny loves you both so much. I might love your Mummy a tiny bit more though!

Love Nanny xxx

More Exercise?!

Evening all,

A quick  exercise update as promised. This evening Rosie and I swam another 20 lengths each at the local pool. While this might not mean much to many, to us it’s a big deal. For me it proves that I can, indeed, swim 500km, albeit slowly, which is the length I need to swim to complete my part of the triathlon. For Rosie, well…this is the girl who wouldn’t go swimming at all let alone be seen in a swimming costume for various reasons. Last weekend she and I went out and she purchased some new trainers, a couple of sports tops and a new swimming costume and she wore it this evening. This daughter of mine is going from strength to strength in her quest for health and fitness and she is doing brilliantly. She is confident and assured and, more importantly, proud of herself and so she should be.

  
Rosie isn’t doing the triathlon and is disappointed about that. To be honest,when we booked our places a while back there was no way she would even have considered it possible and now she is thinking of signing up for The Great South Run. Amazing!

Oh, and I wore swimming goggles for the first time in my life today and they were great. I could see underwater! Usually if my eyes are in the water they are screwed up tightly and  that’s how they stay until I surface for air. Let’s hope they improve my swimming a little. I feel they will but I have no idea why.

  

I have spent quite a bit of time with the twins and their Mummy over the last few days. Mummy has been having a bit of a tough time as she is so very tired. The babies are doing really well. Chunky monkey Sam is a proper little boy. I can’t believe the babies are only 7 weeks old. He looks about 3 months old. He is so chilled and content. A real bundle of joy.

Phoebe continues to plod on with her feeding and is making steady, if very slow, progress. She takes about 40 mls per feed in half an hour and then the rest is fed to her through her tube. This can be a time consuming and frustrating experience for all involved and I am not at all surprised that Mummy is feeling the strain. By the time she has fed both babies and changed them she is lucky if she has an hour before she has to start the next lot of feeds. 

Phoebe’s hearing aids continue to be noisy and frustrating. As her ears are so small it is very difficult to get the ear moulds  to fit tightly into her ears. If they don’t fit tightly then each aid buzzes loudly. This doesn’t seem to bother Phoebe but it does mean that she isn’t getting much benefit from the hearing aids because they aren’t fitting snuggly in her ear canals. She is having new ear moulds taken weekly at the moment so hopefully the issues will be sorted soon. It’s so important for every aspect of her development that she is able to hear as much as possible.

At least when I was with the family for a while today I was able to get Mummy some breakfast, prepare dinner, do some washing and run Mummy a bubble bath. I also got lots of cuddles…….obviously😊😊

   
A slightly startled Sam!

 A slightly serious Phoebe!

So, the exercise/ training continues and the little darlings that we doing this for are changing every day. Mummy and Daddy are adjusting to their new lives and we all wait and wonder what their futures will be. With the love and support that they have all been shown over the last months  I think they are going to be just fine.

Night night from a very weary Nanny xxxxxx

Tonight….Zumba!

Hi all,

In a bid to prove that I am still determined to give this triathlon event my best shot…despite now hoping to do it between three of us…I will probably blog each time that I do some form of exercise and so….

….after two lovely dog walks in the sunshine today I then went to a Zumba class with Rosie this evening. We first went a couple of weeks ago but then haven’t returned until this evening. It’s a local class, pay as you go (£5), is run by a friendly and enthusiastic leader and attracts lots of ladies of various ages and all shapes and sizes all jiggling about and having a good time.

To be honest, despite the glorious weather, I have been a bit gloomy today and I had to really make myself go to the class but Rosie is full of beans and enthusiastic about her new health and fitness regime and I didn’t want to let her down.

In the end I really enjoyed the session despite being absolutely hopeless at keeping up and getting the footwork right. We jumped about, shook our booties (is that even the right word? I am referring to ourbottoms!!) and left the class after an hour feeling happy that we had made the effort. Another step up in our fitness levels I hope. 

 
Now I do try to walk about 10,000 steps most days and today I have done this…..
  
I’m very, very happy with that.

I have tried to contact the organisers of the triathlon today to see about entering as a team and not individuals but I haven’t heard back from them yet. I’m hoping that I hear from them tomorrow. I will feel happier once I have that sorted.

So that’s the lastest little exercise update. Onwards and upwards😊👍👟

Love Nanny xxx

Decision Made

Hi everyone.

As you may know, since signing up for the Guildford triathlon a few months back, I have been in a bit of a quandary about whether I should actually try to complete the event alongside my son as two separate entries or whether we should actually split the event and complete it as a team. Although it goes against every single grain in my body, I know that I really am not going to be able to complete the whole thing on my own. This 55 year old – will be 56 by the day of the event – needs to be realistic and think about the end game. Yes, I’d love to say that I had completed a triathlon but at what expense? My knees are already a bit past their best and I would hate to do myself some long term damage purely by being unrealistic and stubborn. Therefore,  we have decided that doing the event as a team is the most sensible option. I have yet to confirm  this with the organisers but that is our plan.

We have decided that I will do the 500 metre swim, future son in law  will do the 20 km cycle ride and son will do the 5k trail run. I’m actually relieved that a decision has been made and now we can crack on with the training properly. Today I even bought myself some swimming goggles in the hope that I will be able to put my face in the water while swimming breaststroke and may be go a little faster. There is no doubt that I will be last out of the water on the day, that is for certain!

Following our 5k run last week and our midweek swim, daughter and I went for another jog this morning and really enjoyed it. The sun was shining and all was right with the world. Tomorrow we are returning to zumba and on Wednesday we have another swim session pencilled in so I will try out the goggles then and see how I get on.

A bit blurry but proof of our run this morning!

Yesterday Phoebe, Sam and their Mummy spent the afternoon with us and it was a joy to have them here as ever. Daddy had to work and Mummy wanted a change of scenery. Phoebe is trialling a new bottle which is going quite well so everyone is hopeful that she progresses with that and Sam was his usual chilled out self. Everyone had cuddles aplenty and Mummy got to have a bit of a break…not that she ever rests. She always has something she needs to be doing!

Both babies had their 6 week check ups in the week and all was well. They are gaining weight….Sam quite spectacularly as he now weighs almost 11lbs! Phoebe is over 8lbs and coming along nicely. Sam is really smiling and happy and Phoebe is much, much more responsive which is wonderful to see. She is moving more and seems much more aware of what is going on around her thanks to her hearing aids and the patience, commitment and love of her Mummy and Daddy.

See for yourselves….

Look at those cheeky faces!

Mummy, Auntie Sum, Phoebe and Sam xx

Thanks to everyone for their continued love and support.

Love Nanny xxx

http://nannyandmummy.blogspot.com/2016/03/sunny-sunday-musings.html

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/phoebeandsam

 

Swimming Success

Hi all. Just a quick note to say that my daughter and I went to the local pool for the first time this evening despite our lethargy and we both swam 20 lengths which is 500 metres each which is how far I should swim on one of the legs of the triathlon.

This would be great news if I was a strong swimmer and if I swam it in a fast time but……I am most definitely not a strong swimmer and it took me ages. I can’t do front crawl, never have been able to. I do breaststroke after a fashion but it’s not pretty. It is also about the slowest swimming stroke you can do I think. However, I did it. We did it. We dragged our sorry bottoms out in the evening and went for a swim instead of lounging about at home watching rubbish on tv. Go us!

Before I go, a quick mention for my swimming buddy for the evening. My daughter is really making massive changes in her life at the moment and it’s great to see. If I had told her 4 weeks ago that she would be losing weight, would have run a 5k and swam 500 metres in the space of 4 days she would have thought I had gone completely mad. But that is exactly what she has done and I couldn’t be happier for her.

Oh, and Phoebe has a new bottle to try which everyone hopes will enable her to feed more successfully. We are keeping everything crossed as that would be a another major breakthrough for our little princess.

We also receieved another couple of donations today for our triathlon challenge. People are being incredibly supportive and generous so thank you to all for your continued support of and for the family.

Love Nanny xx

When Phoebe Got Hearing Aids

Hi all.

Today was a huge day in the life of darling Phoebe. She got her hearing aids at the age of 5 weeks and 6 days and she can hear! To have been in the room when that happened was completely overwhelming. Her reaction was both heartbreaking and joyful and I will never forget it. I have written about it in more detail on my other blog but here is the link should you want to read it:

http://nannyandmummy.blogspot.com/2016/03/hooray-for-princess-phoebe.html

Continued thanks and love to all who have supported the family thus far on their journey. It means everything and helps them all get through each day.

Love Nanny xxx

Time To Dig Deep

Hi everyone and thank you to all who have read any of my posts on here and who have responded so positively. It’s always nice to get feedback of any kind and it is always welcome. It’s lovely to know that people are interested in at least some of the nonsense that I write!

As you know, this blog has been set up by me to keep people updated about our triathlon training. It is also somewhere where I can mention those special little people, Phoebe and Sam, and their Mummy and Daddy.

As I type this, I know that the family are having a tough time. Let’s face it – two babies, less than 6 weeks old, one with extra needs, Daddy back at work, Mummy recovering from surgery and trying to cope with both babies, the mountains of paperwork and forms to be completed, the never ending medical appointments, the housing situation, the stress and sheer worry of it all would seem insurmountable to most of us if we are honest. I know that many times, when my own children were babies, I felt totally ill- equipped to deal with the situation that I found myself in and I doubted my capabilities and my sanity on many occasions – and I didn’t have twins or surgery. Also, at 6 weeks the reality of the situation and how your lives have changed after having a baby – or in this cases babies – starts to hit home.

Unfortunately, Phoebe’s  issues are on-going and she has not taken well to feeding from a bottle. This is extremely frustrating and exhausting for both her and her Mummy because she really tries to feed but her cleft palate makes it almost impossible. She has 30 mins at most at each feed to take what she can from the bottle and then the rest of her feed is tube fed which can take anything up to another hour. Sam has to be slotted in around Phoebe’s routine and it’s totally exhausting for their Mummy  who is already feeling guilty about spending more time with one twin than the other. At the moment she can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. We really need to get Phoebe a bottle that she can feed from properly and safely and then she will come on leaps and bounds but it’s a painfully slow process thus far.

Tomorrow we have two big appointments at the hospital – audiology and the eye clinic. Each appointment for the twins thus far has been hard as the difficulties that Phoebe will face become clearer. We desperately need a positive, upbeat outcome from something, somewhere just to give the family a bit of light relief. I think that we need to get tomorrow’s appointments done with and then we may have a better idea of what’s ahead.

Phoebe and her totally gorgeous hair!

Now, back to triathlon training…I have done nothing apart from walk over the last week after my knee played up following a cycle ride and a zumba class in 24 hours of each other. So I obviously had mixed feelings as this weekend approached along with the planned 5k run that three of us had signed up for.

One of our number has been poorly all week with a chest infection and, very wisely, agreed to stay at home. My youngest daughter agreed to take her place even though she had also been struggling with a bad knee this week. So, this morning,  the three of us – Phoebe and Sam’s Nanny, Auntie and Uncle – pulled on our various items of sports gear and headed off to the local country park where we picked up our numbers, pinned them into place, did a few warm up exercises and made our way to the start line.

 

Son is quite a veteran of the 5k run as am I because we have done a few over the years as training for other events but neither of us had done any running for quite some time. Daughter has done one 5k before years ago so this was a big challenge for her.

We set off as the race started and were faced with the challenge of a 1km hill to run up. Not really the ideal start for a run. I was walking before I got to the summit! The paths were very, very muddy and there were lots of fallers and much slipping and sliding as we all picked our way around the hilly, slippery, muddy terrain. At least it wasn’t raining. Son raced ahead, as he always, always does and daughter kept her own pace and did her best not to fall over. I jogged and walked, huffed and puffed and generally plodded my way around as best I could. It really was about the hardest 5k I have ever done due to the muddy conditions and the general trail-type run. I was very glad to see the finish line as I’m sure you can imagine.

We all made it. We all finished. We all got a medal and we all felt damned proud of ourselves!

It felt good to be doing something together and we all enjoyed the challenge up to a point. I think the next thing will be the Sport Relief Mile in a couple of weeks but we will see how we feel in the morning first!

As for the triathlon, no decision about splitting the event and doing it as a team has been made yet but I do feel it may be the best way forward. Time will tell.

Once again, thank you for reading this and for supporting us and Phoebe and Sam’s family. We are doing this for them because we love them and we will be there for them all, supporting and loving them always.

Love Nanny xxxx

 

We Will Do This…

So it’s silly o’clock and I have been awake for ages. I woke with an ache in my back – nothing awful, just discomfort. That back ache has joined the discomfort that I am feeling in my left knee since Zumba last week and my cycle ride yesterday. These few aches have already started to make me doubt my ability to complete this challenge.

I was told several years ago that I should not run anymore due to arthritis in my knee. I have stuck to the advice I was given until the last few weeks and my main exercise until then has been lots of walking. It appears that ramping up the exercise has set things off again.

I have seriously been reconsidering my decision to attempt the triathlon, so much so that I have spoken to family about splitting the event and doing it as a team which is a legitimate option. If we did that, three of us could take a section each and we could complete it that way. It does seem the sensible option but I do feel that it would not be the challenge that I have set myself up for.

I have spoken to my son who is also taking part in the event and he has advised that we do our planned 5km run this Sunday and see how we all feel after that. I think he is probably right. I do tend to get fed up when my challenges and training don’t go to plan and then I get mopey and feel sorry for myself. That is not what is needed right now.

Yesterday I went with friends to visit my daughter and the twins. Both babies were looking calm and relaxed in their Moses baskets and my daughter was busying herself with sterilising and preparing bottles for the coming day. We all had cuddles with the babies and chatted with my daughter who is putting on a brave face for everyone but who is exhausted, worried and tearful and who can blame her? The reality of this new life of theirs must seem, and feel,completely overwhelming. I know personally how it feels to have one baby with extra needs to look after and my daughter has two babies at the same time, one with extra needs and one who doesn’t appear to need anything extra at the moment. I spent most of my time with my young baby being terrified – for my baby, for our futures, for our family. I can only imagine what must be going through my daughter’s mind.

As the Mum of my daughter and as Nanny to those beautiful, treasured babies it is my duty to support the whole family as much as I can and that is what I intend to do for as long as I need to. I intend doing everything I can to help them through the difficult next few months, do whatever I can to make things easier. My daughter is fiercely independent and this is what has got her as far as she has in this life. She has achieved so much and has brightened the lives of many people. She will continue to do so and I just know that the babies will do exactly the same.

That is why, whatever  decision is made about the triathlon, you can rest assured that every ounce of effort will have been put in and no decisions will be taken lightly. We want to do our very best for my daughter, her husband and their babies. We want to make them proud….as proud as they make us every single day.

Love Nanny (and Mum😉) 💙💗💕
  

Bike Ride Fail

Buoyed up and motivated by finally getting this blog up and running, I decided to do ‘something’. I went down to the shed, got out my bike, pumped up the tyres and prepared to set off.

I have a Fitbit which I find really helpful in keeping me focussed and I decided to use it to track my cycle ride. However, it seems that the Fitbit doesn’t track rides. Not deterred, I found an app, installed it on my phone, pressed the ‘go ride’ red button and I was off.

My legs found the slight inclines a bit tough but I kept going for as long as I could, albeit slowly. At the end of the short ride i took my phone from my pocket to see how i had done only to find that I hadn’t pressed the red button properly and the ride hadn’t been recorded. What a blow! That will teach me to be spontaneous. however, a lesson learned. Next time be more thorough before I set off.

The ride has prompted me to take the bike to the local bike shop as the brakes need adjusting and I’ve no idea how to do it myself. I will do that over the next few days. I also need to invest in a cycle helmet. I do have one but it is too small for my ridiculously large head. It’s a family thing!

But the main thing is that I have done something. I have made a start and that’s all I needed to do.

Love Nanny xx

 

 

 

Once Upon A Time..

…not so long ago, these two beautiful babies came into our family. Phoebe was born first and Sam arrived minutes later. These babies have already brought out the best in everyone who meets them. These babies are surrounded by love and affection wherever they go. They have wonderful parents and a great network of family and friends. They will never feel alone or unloved. They have brought so much joy to so many people already and they are only 4 weeks old.

Shortly after her birth, Phoebe had problems with her breathing and was taken to the special care baby unit (SCBU) at the local hospital where she stayed for 2 weeks before being allowed home. Phoebe also has an inherited condition that is causing her a few problems at the moment and she is under the care of various departments at the hospital.

As a consequence of Phoebe’s stay in SCBU where she and her Mummy and Daddy received constant support and care,  my son and I are taking part in the first ever Guildford Triathlon on May 29th 2016. We hope to raise funds for the SCBU at The Royal Surrey County Hospital.

This blog is my attempt at keeping everyone informed of our progress, our hiccups, our meltdowns, our training, our injuries and our blood, sweat and tears along the way.

Let’s start with the fact that neither my son or I have EVER taken part in a triathlon before. I will be 56 when the day arrives. Am I too old to do this? My head tells me ‘Yes you are too old you stupid woman’. My knees tell me ‘Yes, you are too old. We have supported you through the years to our best ability but this could be a challenge too far for us’. My heart tells me a different story. My heart says ‘Do whatever you can to support these babies and their family’. My heart tells me ‘Don’t be weak. Be strong. lead by example’. My ever reliable stubborn Taurean streak tells me to just get on with it and stop making a fuss.

Over the years I have completed a London marathon, 2 Moonwalks, a Silverstone half marathon(see my blog for that event here, a Surrey Three Peaks challenge and lots of 5k runs and walks but never have I ever considered a triathlon…..until now.

I have 90 days to get myself fit enough for the challenge of a 500 metre pool swim, a 20 km bike ride and a 5 km trail run. Do I think I can do it? Do I think I can complete the biggest challenge I have taken on to date? In all honesty, no. I don’t think I can. Will that stop me from giving the event my all? Absolutely not.

Thus far, my ‘training’ has consisted of daily trail walks with the dogs, one swim, two jogs and a 14 minute bike ride. Having the worries of the twins and my obvious concerns for their Mummy (my daughter) and Daddy have been taking up a lot of my spare time but that is no excuse.

Next Sunday sees a group of us taking part in a local organised 5k trail run/jog/walk which will hopefully kick my bottom into gear and get me going. Today I should probably try and get out on my bike for at least 20 minutes. The swimming will take more organisation and I intend to build it into my weekly routine. Let’s see how I get on.

For anyone who is interested, our fundraising details are:

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/phoebeandsam

I also have an ongoing weekly blog about my life and stuff. If anyone is interested please feel free to have a read:

http://nannyandmummy.blogspot.co.uk/

Thanks for your time.

Love Nanny x